Ryan's Ramblings

Delayed, but Not Denied 

“The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts…” (Psalm 32:10, NIV)

I once heard a line from a grizzled cowboy in Baker City, Oregon, that’s stuck with me—probably because I’ve lived it. He said, “If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.”

I’ve done things I regret—and made decisions I wish I could take back. Not because I meant harm, but because I got tired of waiting. Tired of the silence. Tired of nothing moving. Tired of praying and seeing no results.

So I acted. Took things into my own hands. Pushed forward and tried to make something happen. Sometimes we call that “taking charge” or “being courageous.” But honestly? It’s just forcing what only God can do.

And that’s dumb.

Paul knew what that felt like. He got tired of waiting on God. He ignored multiple Spirit-led warnings and pressed ahead to Jerusalem (Acts 21:4, 10–14). His motives weren’t impure—but he was stubborn. Impatient. And it caught up with him. He was arrested and ended up stuck in Caesarea for two years under a corrupt governor named Felix (Acts 24:27).

The gospel still burned in his bones. But instead of missionary journeys and new churches, he got silence and stone walls. He was in a holding pattern—no movement, no momentum. Just waiting. And it was his own fault.

But here’s the beauty: God didn’t write him off. Paul was forgiven. Still loved and still useful. But his path had shifted. He was delayed, but not denied.

This tale echoes another: the Israelites, standing on the edge of the Promised Land. They had just come through the Red Sea, made their way to Sinai—and were only an eleven-day journey from the land God had promised them (Deuteronomy 1:2). But they let fear overrule their faith. They turned back… and spent the next forty years walking in circles (Numbers 14:22–34).

They were so close. But instead of stepping forward in trust—they froze in fear and doubt. And the consequence was a detour they never expected. God forgave them. But the delay still came.

Sometimes that’s how it goes. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the consequences. But grace never leaves us there. God doesn’t walk away. He stays, and He redeems.

So if you find yourself in a long delay—maybe even one of your own making—don’t lose heart. God hasn’t benched you. He hasn’t given up on you. He still has work for you to do—and grace to carry you through. Even in the wilderness, He can use you. Even behind prison doors, there’s hope. And when the waiting ends—and it will—you’ll find He was working all along.

There’s some real truth in that old line: “If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” King David knew something about that. But he also knew it wasn’t the ultimate truth. He wrote these words after doing something dumb:

 “The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.” (Psalm 32:10, NIV)

Thankfully, in the Lord, the last word isn’t tough … it’s trust.

Trust in Jesus.