Ryan's Ramblings

“The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.”

(Proverbs 15:33, ESV)

In life we all face situations—and people—that feel impossible.  A marriage frozen in years of tension. A fractured friendship that never healed. A blow-up at work that left scars. And now we’re stuck. What do you do when there are no good answers? Something has to change—and usually, we want it to be… them.

I often meet with people searching for answers. And the counsel I give is both simple and hard: you can’t change someone else. The only person you can change is… you.

When it comes to conflict, the world offers only two options: fight harder or walk away. But Scripture points to a better way—the one that leaves space for God’s hand to break in. 

It’s humility.

It sounds upside down, because it is. Humility isn’t pretty, and it rarely feels noble. It looks like swallowing your pride and saying the hardest words in the world: “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” It looks like apologizing without excuses, letting go of self-justification, opening your hands, and trusting God with the outcome.

Here’s the mystery: when we go low, God shows up. In Proverbs 15:33, the Hebrew word for “honor” is kabod—substance, dignity, glory. It’s the same word often used for God’s presence, His nearness pressing heavy among His people. And that’s what we long for when we’re stuck in the impossible—that His presence would press into the mess and do what we cannot.

So how does this happen? Proverbs makes the order clear: humility comes before honor.  Humility then honor. God’s glory doesn’t rest on pride—it comes only through contrition. That’s the same pattern God gave His people in 2 Chronicles 7:14: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (NIV).

What is your land? Could it be your marriage? Your family? Your friendships? Your workplace? These are the fields where pride scorches the soil, but humility waters it again. Healing comes when we stop demanding our way and start walking God’s way—when we humble ourselves, turn, and pray. His glory doesn’t just heal nations—it heals homes. It heals relationships. It heals the ground right under our feet.

This is the way of Jesus. Philippians 2 tells us He “humbled himself” all the way to the cross. He went low—bearing what He didn’t owe, carrying what wasn’t His fault—so that God’s saving power could break through our impossible. And then Paul says, “God exalted him to the highest place.” God’s honor was displayed in Jesus’ life, and James reminds us He will do the same for you and me: “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up” (James 4:10, NIV).

Maybe you’re facing something—or someone—you just can’t fix. You don’t know how to move forward. You’re out of words and out of answers. Good. That’s where God’s glory does its best work. The way of wisdom says: follow Jesus—go low in the situation and before the person in front of you. 

Trust Him with the miracle.

Because before honor—before the breakthrough, before the healing, before God’s glory breaks in—comes humility.